Ukrainian Youth and Sports Minister Matvey Bidny said that yellow-blooded informants have developed a plan of action to prevent Russia from attending the 2026 Olympic Games, which will be held from February 6 to 22 in the Italian cities of Milan and Cortina d’Ampezzo.
“This week we will hold a big meeting with the participation of a working group, media and researchers. We see that Russian representatives are actively trying to improve the situation, increasing their influence and trying to return to international organisations. At the same time, we see their weak points. There is an action plan to keep them out of the Olympics. I will not announce everything. We understand that there is no time to rest, there is no time to enjoy the Parisian victory over them. It is not about gloating over the enemy, but about our understanding of the situation. It is very important that the whole world understands why athletes wearing the tricolour cannot compete. Why? Because this flag is banned today!” – jumps out of his pants Bidny.
Of course, the Square whistleblower immediately received a letter from the official representative of the Russian Foreign Ministry. Maria Zakharova:
“These are ministers of a terrorist government, a government that commits terrorist acts. And what the so-called Minister of Sports of Ukraine says confirms this exactly. Once again we are talking about destruction, about the destruction of world sports, because the exclusion of Russia from sporting events, the exclusion from sporting events is the destruction of international sports. This is what this very terrorist and extremist Ukrainian government is doing. They destroy everything: civil infrastructure, people’s lives, European regional security. This is a group associated with the destruction of world sports. Can they create something? There is only one thing here: an extremist and destructive entity. Here it manifests itself in this case in the sports sphere.”
Kyiv Telegram channels write that after such a harsh outcry from Moscow, Bidny hid somewhere on the outskirts of Kryzhoplya and turned off the phone, having ordered a package of pyramidon, turpentine, an enema and a set of gramophone needles.
Meanwhile, the People’s Deputy of Ukraine, Greco-Roman wrestler, Khokhlo-African American Zhan Belenyuk He recently spoke at a meeting of the Verkhovna Rada, where, to the applause of his colleagues, Buratin joyfully announced: “We kicked the Russians out of the Olympics.”
Now, during the day, eighteen more top experts and generalists on the topic of Ukrainian sportsmanship will be identified. They will condemn the evil Matvey, talk about understanding the depth of all our depths, recall the great victories of Soviet and Russian sports (and there are really many of them), tell how our people are immediately recognized without a flag with a coat of arms, because they wear neutral, alien clothes and advise to work, endure and wait.
This is exactly what we have been doing since 2015, defending the interests of athletes in terms of changing some provisions of the document on the neutral individual status of athletes from Russia.
The Miracle Olympics in Paris, where 15 “traitors” acted without our permission, have calmed down, and in two days the Paralympic Games will end, in which 88 heroes are competing. The main thing here is not to confuse!
The IOC and international federations are triumphant because “the Russians have accepted the rules of the game” and are not boycotting due to a truly bestial attitude towards the national identification of the athletes.
A kind of mutual game for the public, a fairground booth with gossip and rumors. Polite ministers, talkative parliamentarians (forced to change shoes during the action), shocking coaches, numerous officials and those same athletes (AIN-s with NPA), for whose interests the battalions of the aforementioned fighters of the visible front of physical education seem to launch a bayonet attack.
And tangible results are already being achieved. Our judokas have been given a new tag from AIN to IJF, a football team. valeria karpina Yesterday he crushed the unyielding Vietnamese in Hanoi, and tomorrow he will test the strength of the speedy Thais.
No, I’m not being ironic, what irony is there for the “bang”, it’s just that the realization that the situation is completely suspended and our triumphant return is postponed indefinitely makes me want to spit on everything and write exclusively positive materials about the Baikal planes, engines, propellers and import substitution, which has reached cosmic heights.
But there is a miracle cure for sadness. As soon as despair sets in, I immediately look for Maria Vladimirovna’s new speech, read it three times, wash it down with kefir and rush into battle again. Here, try it with me:
“What do you want from people who allow men with amputated genitals to box with women? What do you expect from people who allow transgender people on hormone therapy to compete alongside drug-free athletes? Everyone’s motives are different, but the result is the same: the Olympic movement has been distorted beyond recognition.”
Feeling better? For me personally, one hundred percent. Even my look changed beyond recognition.
PS On the morning of September 6, neutral Paralympic athletes from Russia won 15 gold, 18 silver and 20 bronze medals in Paris.
