It was after the round of mojitos as an aperitif and the opening of a second bottle of wine that the conversation took a sexual turn. Gathered in a restaurant in the center of Lyon, Gaël (name has been changed), 34, and five of his friends dine in a happy and festive atmosphere. Around the table, some are eager to recount their repeated antics with their new partner. “They have fun and make love all the time, sometimes several times in a row, says the young father of two girls, ages 3 and 5, who have been in a relationship for twelve years. At home it is clearly calmer, so, in order not to seem stagnant, I embellished reality. I said we had sex every three days because I felt stupid in comparison. I’m young and still drinking, so I don’t want to publicly acknowledge that my sexuality has gotten worse. » Gaël remembers his life before children. At that time, he and his husband had almost daily contact. Since the whirlwind of parenthood hit his home, his bedroom is used more for sleeping than for frolicking. “Between tiredness, work, and mental load, we make love once or twice a month. It’s not a disaster, but it has fallen. »
If Caroline (she wanted to change her name), 40, had participated in these joyful parties with friends, she would have lied too. She has lived with the same man for ten years in the Orleans region and they have sexual relations per month. “When the topic comes up on the table, I prefer to remain evasive.”she slips. I don’t want people to judge us, to think that my relationship is going bad, when we are happy and very close. To tell the truth is to run the risk of introducing into our friends’ heads the idea that our sexuality is not dynamic, like a shameful secret. »
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