Writer and doctor in Toulouse, Baptiste Beaulieu was born in 1985. “Three years after the decriminalization of homosexuality”precise. He was 9 years old when, sitting in front of the Sunday night movie with his entire beloved family, he passed away. The crazy cage. “Yuck! It makes me sick!”he says of the homosexual couple, expecting to be contradicted by his parents, who let him say it. Parents also educate their children with what they don’t say.
In his new book, precisely titled Not all silences make the same noise (L’Iconoclaste, 376 pages, 20.90 euros), the doctor known for his online presence (first a blog, an Instagram account with 400,000 subscribers) and for his columns in France Inter (until June) reacts to questions apparently benevolent words that homosexuals frequently hear, especially when they are starting a family. Today, Baptiste Beaulieu is married, has a 15-month-old son and was a donor within the framework of medically assisted procreation (PAM) for a couple of friends, today mothers of a 3-year-old girl.
The first time you felt like a father?
One night my son was crying. It must have been a little over 1 month old. I felt like he was cold, I hugged him against me and he went back to sleep. What made me feel like a father was understanding his need and being there to satisfy it. That moment when you start to care for someone more than yourself is very powerful: it’s an overwhelming responsibility, but it also feels good to decenter yourself, to stop being the main character in their story.
You write that the desire for fatherhood among men, homosexual or heterosexual, remains a non-issue…
Yes, from time to time I see men who need children in the office. It’s something very visceral, very intimate. For my part, I had never planned parenthood and I don’t know how it happened. I think it arose when I carried a baby in my arms to my office to examine it.
As a doctor, I saw children who did not seem loved, let’s say celebrated, as they should be, and I said to myself about parents: “It seems very easy for them to have a child, and they are.” ruining this opportunity…” I began to search for where these feelings were coming from, before I recognized my desire to be around a child.
In your book, you Keep in mind that no one questions straight people’s willingness to be good parents…
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