“In 1992, my partner and I were transferred to the other side of France. We are still young, we have no children and we are far from our families, our friends. Because we are in a friendly and close-knit professional environment, we spend time with our colleagues. There are aperitifs, parties, we see each other during the holidays.
One night, a colleague of my partner organized a party. It is on this day that we found him. Armand [les prénoms et les lieux ont été changés] He is a very charismatic man, who attracts attention. He speaks a lot and well, with intelligence. He is older than us: he must be 45 years old, while we are in our twenties. It is a strong encounter.
Shortly afterwards, we meet again at the weekend, stopping by his house unexpectedly – he lives with his partner, Elise, and their little boy – for a snack that lasts forever. We discover her too: she is a woman who seems calmer, stronger than he. We spend long afternoons remaking the world. From time to time, Armand has great outbursts, fits of anger that surprise us a little, but we pay no attention to them beyond that. Often it has to do with his son and what he eats. Armand seems to want to control his diet. Curiously, every time the little boy bites something, he does not blame him, but Elise.
The death of Marie Trintignant, a “turning point”
For two years we saw each other a lot, then my partner and I moved again. Our friendship continues. Every summer they come to spend three or four days with us and we make up for lost time. We asked Armand to be the godfather of our son. Then, in 2002, he asked me to be his best man at his wedding. I am a little surprised, because Armand is very close to my partner, but I know that he respects me a lot, because I am outspoken, feminist and rebellious in an era when that is not very common.
In 2003, my husband and I were on holiday when we heard of the death of actress Marie Trintignant. I remember exactly the moment I heard the news on the car radio. We were stunned. We loved Bertrand Cantat. [le chanteur de Noir Désir, condamné en Lituanie pour les coups et blessures ayant entraîné la mort de sa compagne] as well as Marie Trintignant. This is the first time that domestic violence has appeared in the news in this way. For me, this is a turning point. I can no longer bear to hear about “crime of passion.” I argue with my mother, who considers Trintignant to be to “forager”as if that could justify anything.
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