The first full professor at the Institute for Advanced Scientific Studies, mathematician Laure Saint-Raymond, 49, is the mother of six children. After giving us consent to participate in the “Parents’ Lives” section, she looked at the list of commonly asked questions. “The questionnaire made me feel extremely uncomfortable”he wrote to us.
“The worst thing your son has ever said to you”, “your best quality as a father”…The use of superlatives seemed excited. What is between the best and the worst? For her the questions were too closed. “It lacks nuance and assumes that we have immediate feedback on what we do, say, propose, authorize, prohibit…”
Scientifically, it was not very rigorous. He agreed to meet us at the Academy of Sciences, of which he is a member, to give us answers to other questions.
You have six children, between 15 and 25 years old. Did you raise them the same way?
We do not raise the first as the last. Yes, because I had my first child at 24 years old, and we are no longer the same person as we were at 50. As parents, we also change. For the older ones, we follow the dietary diversification scheme to the letter. The last one took chips from his brothers’ plate when he was 6 months old. My oldest, if he plays music, we make sure he practices his scales every day. For the latter, we understand that we have to choose our battles, and we no longer set the same priorities, which makes the elders say that the last are the darlings.
I myself am the oldest in a family of seven children, and I know that we do not have the same relationship with adults when we come first or last. For older adults, there is a form of guilt if we do not follow what we believe is expected of our parents. The younger ones feel freer. The elders live under the gaze of adults, while the younger ones can follow the example of the elders. We noticed this especially during confinement: the youngest were exposed to the elderly, who carried out their medical or legal work.
What difference does a large family make in terms of education?
There is less age difference between my older son and my younger brother than between my younger brother and me. We form a kind of tribe! In my family we have this culture of being close, of seeing each other, of spending time together… This proximity is a strength both in everyday life and in the trials of life.
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