Four years ago, Gemma and Enric found themselves in a room facing a sealed envelope that would change their lives. This couple from Lleida had decided to become a host family and, after almost a year of training and waiting for the phone to ring, they finally called them. They met a technician from the Generalitat who explained to them that they had a “proposal”, but they only told them that it was a child under six years old. And based on that, they had to decide whether or not to take him home.
They said yes, and only then were they able to open the envelope. “There were two photos there and some other information,” Gemma recalls. He was 18 months old and, like all children protected by the system, came from a broken family. The little boy has now been living with this couple and their two biological daughters for four years.
“It’s a roller coaster. There are fantastic moments and others not so much. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not easy because they bring a very big backpack,” explains Enric. Even though they are so small, they are already having consequences. “We notice it in the levels of frustration, in the unexpected reactions… Remember that, very often, it all starts with pregnancies that were not normal,” explains Toni. He is also a host family. In his case, a girl who came into his life when he was 7 years old. He is now 23 and still at home.
This is an example of the 780 homes offering to accommodate children in Catalonia, but they are far fewer than the system needs. The Generalitat estimates that 1,400 will be needed to achieve its objective: that no child under the age of six lives in a residential center.
There are currently 1,256 children of this age in care, but only 280 of them live in foster care. The nearly 1,000 others live in residential centers. A situation which, for the Minister of Social Rights, Mònica Martínez, is “untenable”.
The challenge is shared by almost all the autonomous communities (only Cantabria and Aragon have succeeded), but it is not easy. Especially since the number of children taken care of by the Generalitat has practically doubled over the last decade, while foster families have stagnated at around 750.
It is for this reason that the Generalitat has promoted a plan to increase the number of foster homes. After months of debates with families, they designed a strategy to disseminate and raise awareness, but also to resolve the problems of these volunteers. “We wanted to ask ourselves why there are not more,” said the councilor, who specified that the Government would devote 2.3 million euros to this task.
Hire staff to simplify procedures
One of the first actions will be the hiring of 25 people who will help speed up procedures and procedures, one of the issues that most concern families. An example is the preliminary assessment report which, according to law, must be carried out within a maximum of six months, but can take more than a year and a half.
This primarily affects families who volunteer for emergency foster care and who take in the children for those six months during which their situation is assessed to decide whether they can return to their biological family or whether they should stay. in the foster care system. “This period is always prolonged, with all that that implies,” explains Imma, adoptive mother and also president of the Association of Host Families of Barcelona (AFABAR).
She found herself in this situation. He took in a little girl who was almost two years old and the delays were so long that he ended up staying with her. He is now about to turn 10 years old and, from the DGAIA, they have just confirmed that the situation of his biological family is not optimal and have asked him to take care of them until he comes of age.
“This is something we need to resolve now. Especially because there are families who cannot keep the child, but who have been with him for so long that a bond is created. And breaking it can be very harmful,” specifies the advisor. Imma completely agrees and adds that protected creatures “have the abandonment bug forever.” Something in them reminds them that their parents left them and this generates permanent trauma.
More help and more flexible visits
Another strong point of the Generalitat’s project lies in the relaxation of the visit regime. As they must be supervised by a technician from the Generalitat, they are always carried out during working hours, which complicates conciliation between adults and children. “It’s not just that I have to ask for time off every two weeks. But the girl must be absent from school. And this means that a problem that could have been dealt with discreetly ended up becoming a reason for ridicule and intimidation,” laments Imma.
Plus, they explain, the tours are not easy experiences for the creatures. “They want to see their parents, that’s normal, but sometimes they come back very angry,” he adds. And it’s not just because of the separation, but, in some cases, seeing them is reliving trauma. As the ministry points out, 18% of these children were victims of physical violence and 8% suffered the consequences of sexist violence within the home.
“Some mothers appear with a black eye… And often, the visits have to be supervised by the Mossos,” explain Gemma and Enric, members of the Lleida Families Association (AFALL). They recognize that it is not an easy experience, but they assure that it is worth it to help the creatures in their situation. “These kids make you love them in a way you never knew was possible,” she sums up.
The sacrifice is great, emotionally but also economically. Along the same lines, another point of the plan is to obtain tax breaks and benefits. Households have a monthly supplement which varies from 500 to 900 euros, but “it is not a money problem”, all those interviewed agree.
What they are asking for and what the Generalitat is working on with the Ministry of Social Rights is that the care of these creatures can be used to contribute – in case it is so demanding that it results in work stoppage of one of the caregivers – and that they benefit from advantages similar to those of large or single-parent families.
“It’s amazing how much it costs to do any procedure. If it’s already difficult to get normal help, imagine asking for it for someone who is not legally your child,” says Toni, who believes that supervised children should have a range of supports, like scholarships, already awarded in advance. “If you need them, you ask for them, and if you don’t need them, you don’t ask for them.”
The abyss after adulthood
Toni’s adopted daughter is 23 years old. She came into his life 16 years ago and, although he never officially adopted her and she is now an adult, she continues to live in his house. “It’s a difficult situation and no one prepares you for what will happen at 18,” he laments. As they are adults, they are no longer under guardianship and the administration ceases to take care of them. “No one looks at them or cares anymore,” Toni says.
For a certain time, these young people benefit from an allowance of 600 euros, but that does not solve anything. What’s more, it can make things worse. “Most of them are unstable children. They do not need money, but support in their studies and at work. “They are consumed by trauma which makes it difficult for them to be consistent,” explains this adoptive father, who recalls that only 4% of the children taken in reach university.
Scientific evidence confirms that separation from biological families has very harmful effects on the physical and cognitive development of boys and girls. These effects are significantly reduced if, instead of living in a residential center, they live with a family. It is for this reason that the Generalitat ensures that no child lives in a residential center, but rather in foster families. But the ultimate goal is that all the little ones can eventually return to their parents.
However, according to current figures, this is only achieved in 10% of cases. The vast majority of others live in residential centers, without the stability or warmth of home. In fact, Catalonia is the community with the most children in this situation. Only some, the luckiest, end up living with families like Imma, Toni or Gemma and Enric.
“Welcoming is engaging,” says Gemma, asked what she would say to families considering taking the plunge. “It’s hard, but it’s worth it to know that we’re helping a creature who just wants to be loved,” he concludes.
