“Overnight, without realizing it, my teenage son began changing the way he dressed and spoke. He started training daily at the gym and used expressions that we didn’t understand at first: brother, fucking looser, burpees… He even talked about the world of cryptocurrencies, while at home, we have never referred to it.” Pamela is the mother of a 14-year-old boy, a teenager who began a change a few months ago that at first glance seemed typical of his age. What begins to worry her mother are the first references to sexist and misogynistic ideas: “One day, when talking about her high school friends, she mentioned some of them in a derogatory tone because they had sexual relations with several boys. Although he didn’t say it outright, he let it slip that they were less valuable because they weren’t ‘pristine,’ and that really set off all the alarms for me,” Pamela says.
In talking with their son, they learned that he consumed content in what is called the machosphere or manosphere, the online community that embraces anti-feminist and misogynistic discourse. This is what psychologists Isa Duque and Fran Jódar define in a chapter of their new book Supporting new generations in the age of screens (Ink Cloud, 2024). “[La machosfera] “It is a conglomeration of masculinist digital subcultures hosted in digital spaces – forums, websites, chats, YouTube, Facebook… – characterized by misogynistic, anti-feminist and victimist discourse,” explain the authors. Duque and Jódar are both psychologists specializing in adolescence, who address in their book the need to support young people in digital spaces, without judging or alarming them and by forging intergenerational links.
Discovering that her son was attracted to this whole digital context, Pamela had to make an effort not to get angry and seek professional support. “At first I was nervous, because I tried so hard to give him an equal education. But I’ve been working on this with my psychologist and I guess it’s his way of searching for his own identity, sort of opposed to ours, and I can’t face it all the time. “I try to get closer to him through the gaps he leaves for me, to offer him alternatives and to contrast all the misogynistic speeches he consumes with other types of ideas,” he says.
If we demonize screens and the content they consume, they will automatically label us as baby boomers and never pay attention to us again. You need to know in depth the streamers, YouTubers and influencers they follow
Fran Jodar
— adolescent psychologist
This is exactly what Isa Duque, also known on her social networks as The psychopathic womanand who works daily with young people and adolescents. “To these feminist mothers, fathers or teachers, who suddenly see that children and adolescents are full of this type of sexist discourse, I always tell them to do the same thing that they would have liked to have been done with them when they were their age. : accompany them with compression and affection, have a lot of patience. And go beyond what we see, because ultimately, this type of behavior is a symptom that something deeper is happening to them, which has to do with their context of uncertainty and their search for identity and belonging to the group.”, assures Duque.
Fran Jódar believes that we also need to get rid of adultcentrism and juvenophobia and know in depth what they like: “If we demonize screens and the content they consume, they will automatically label us as baby boomers and they will never pay attention to us again. We must know in depth banners, YouTubers And influencers For those who follow, control their formats and codes to connect with them, validate them and show them interest in what they like; From there, we can offer them other types of content to compare.
The success of the manosphere among young people, and particularly among boys, is due to the fact that it offers an emotional space and identity security at a time when criticism of masculinity is wrongly presented as a feminist attack.
Ivan Gombel
— historian and doctor of gender studies
Furthermore, he suggests starting early to establish healthy consumption patterns of digital content: “You should not wait until adolescence to address this type of issue, but rather start establishing good digital habits from a very young age. age. And for this, as adults, we must have previously trained ourselves, review our prejudices and our biases and provide this support throughout the different stages of evolution,” he explains.
Construction of masculinity
Iván Gombel is a historian and doctor in gender studies, specializing in masculinities. He understands that adolescents and young people seek to socialize in this type of space: “The success of the manosphere among young people, and particularly among boys, is due to the fact that they offer an emotional space and identity security at a time when criticism of masculinity is wrongly presented as a feminist attack. These are very problematic ideas because they define how this person will behave towards others. Constructing who you are based on machismo, hate speech and emotional repression means chaining yourself and limiting your own life, but it also means assuming a very violent position in society,” explains this expert.
Gombel suggests avoiding direct confrontations to address this type of situation as a family: “If our child feels challenged by the discourses of the manosphere, the first thing would be to understand why, what attracts his attention, what emotions this arouses in him and what he finds that these spaces offer. Sometimes it’s complicated, because we have to listen to things that we don’t like and we immediately question ourselves as parents. The important thing is not to enter into a war, to offer other perspectives, not to fall into a direct confrontation which would only push us apart,” he says.
On social media, there are also people creating wonderful content that goes completely against this type of misogynistic discourse, and we can use them to counteract it. We also need to tell you about the lies of these influencers, who say maybe they have I don’t know how many luxury cars and it turns out they rented them to make this video
Isa Duque
— psychologist
Even if for him there are no “magic recipes” in egalitarian parenting, there is room for action for families: “We must integrate an educational vision from childhood, because what is much more difficult to make work is wanting to start conversations when they are teenagers. We do exactly the same thing with sex education: we only approach the subject when we find it face to face and we don’t know how to approach it. The best thing we can do to prevent the generation of sexist behavior is to serve as egalitarian role models, teach them the importance of respectful coexistence, encourage them to break gender stereotypes and understand the injustices that occur. produced in their environment. We must educate them to be part of responsible citizenship, to also be agents of change,” believes this expert.
Psychologist Isa Duque expands the repertoire of tools to offer them: teaching them positive references, dismantling the lies of this type of speech and using humor. “On social media, there are also people who are creating wonderful content that goes completely against this type of misogynistic discourse, and we can use them to counteract it. We also need to tell you about the lies of these influencers, who say maybe they have I don’t know how many luxury cars and it turns out they rented them to make this video. And use humor, for example, I sometimes talk to teenagers who come to my workshops as supposed seduction gurus, exaggerating the tone they use, and that’s when they see that it’s a hell of a joke. fake» offers Duke.
