“I didn’t know anything. I found out everything when she suddenly cried and screamed with joy at night. The lady of my house, a mother of three daughters, submitted her documents for admission to the university without telling anyone. She was accepted to the Baku Engineering University, specializing in international trade and logistics. Four. I wonder if those who read the girl are also rewarded with heaven.
About a father who takes care of his wife’s education after his three daughters and a mother who never gives up on her goals “Caspian” We present the newspaper article.
The guests of the “Family” column are Kanan Karimli, deputy director of the Educational Institute, and his wife Minaye Karimli.
“I didn’t know I was the target…”
Ms. Minaye is 32 years old and a university graduate. Although she wanted to pursue higher education, she had to put this dream on hold for a while because she started a family:
“My eldest daughter will be in sixth grade, and the youngest is 5 years old and will go to high school. It was always my plan to get a higher education. But since I consider being with my daughters at the age when they need a mother the most more important than my education, I wanted to take care of them myself. I used to consult with my wife and exchange ideas because I was sure that he would always support me. After a specific discussion about the moment, I thought that the moment I had been waiting for had arrived and I got the degree of my dream.”
Bey Kanan also supported Ms. Minaya’s decision: “There is an age group where we thought it was better for the mother to spend time with her child for the development of our children. It was very important for us to have my daughters with their mother when they were children. But we always talked about education. Recently, the questions about education became more intense. He asked me about my specialty and I praised him, but he didn’t know that I was the target.
“Don’t underestimate the power of a woman…”
Mrs. Minaya hid the fact that she submitted her documents for higher education and wanted to surprise her husband. Kenan Bey found out about this when the results were announced:
“I was tired from working in the evening. Since the admission results were announced, I wrote my congratulations on the admission posts on social networks and tried to share the joy with my closest friends whose children were accepted. Suddenly I heard a scream at home, because we did not understand what was happening, the girls and I were scared and Minaya was shouting that “I have been accepted!”, but I still did not understand. “I have been accepted,” he shouted, sometimes crying. After 10-15 minutes it became clear that I had been admitted to the university.”
Enamel: “I am still under the influence of that moment. I think this is the new beginning of my life. I felt that joy with all my cells, I was proud of myself. Because if a woman gets married, especially if she has three children, then she will develop and become successful. People don’t believe me. There are people who tell me: “Who made you study, go take care of your children? I always wanted that day to come and prove it.” I wanted to show them that a woman can work for herself even if she has many children. I wanted to show that there are so many women who should not be neglected. He left his dreams on the shelf because of domestic burdens and stereotypes. I wanted to give them a light.”
“Education has another place in our family”
Minaya says it never occurred to her that Kana wouldn’t support her:
“Unfortunately, society has formed the idea that if a woman has a family, her only job is to take care of her husband and children, cook for them and clean the house. For this reason, a woman puts her desires aside and simply fulfills her mission in the family. I am grateful that Kanan Bey told me that I had moral support in this regard. If I had the feeling that Kana would not allow it, I would not have taken this step. Education has another place in our family. I thought, why should the father who puts so much effort into the education of his children not support me?
Kanan Bey: “There are already people who have called and complained that after this news their spouses have also become interested in studying. There are women among our relatives who were encouraged by Minaya’s move and want to study. I am proud of Minaya. Of course, I will support her in any way I can. If a person has a goal, if she works towards that goal, she should be supported and applauded. We should not be afraid of a woman with goals. It is good that the mother of my daughters is a woman like that.”
“My third daughter added happiness to my happiness”
One of the peculiarities of Mr. Kanan and Mrs. Minaya’s family is that they have three daughters. It is known that Azerbaijan ranks first in the world in terms of selective abortions. Experience shows that when the first child in our country is a girl, 99 percent survive. When the second child is a girl, 30 percent and 74 percent of the third child are aborted. This leads to a violation of the sex ratio. Mr. Kanan constantly posts about his daughters and also says that he is doing subconscious education. He says that being a father of three daughters is his happiness:
“I honestly admit that before I became a father, I thought my child would be a boy. I saw that everyone on my father’s side had a son. At that time, if I was asked, how would you feel if you had a son?” A daughter? At that time I couldn’t imagine that I could be happy like that. God gave me the second daughter. Unfortunately, my third daughter has given me happiness. I don’t want three girls. But I think God has rewarded me. “I’m with them. As long as I have strength, I’m behind the four women in my family.”
Ms. Minaye is also very sensitive to this issue. She first encountered this stereotype in the family where she was born and raised:
“It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy, the main thing is to be a good child. I am one of the people who is most against this topic, because I experienced this stereotype in the family where I grew up.” We are four sisters, and this continued until I had a brother. Our parents were not displeased with us, but they thought it should be a boy. It is unacceptable to choose the gender of Kanan and our daughters. The type of daughters in Kanan’s life is completely different.
“The will of nature cannot be interfered with”
As for methods of combating selective abortion, our interlocutors believe that from the moment a mother becomes pregnant, couples should feel like parents:
“I think the biggest mistake is that the mother is pregnant, they say the mother or father of the future. In fact, if this child is in the mother’s womb, the couples are already father and mother. I think this nuance seriously affects selective abortions. For example, there is one who already sees the pregnant person in the eyes of the parents, and so he understands more that he is the father or mother of the child that he has not seen with his own eyes, and that he decides as a father, as a mother, not as a candidate for fatherhood or motherhood. I am not saying that everyone should stay away from selective abortion, but at least some people will avoid this path.”
Kanan Bey: “The second reason is stereotypes in society. There were those who were surprised that I had three daughters and wanted a son. This has never bothered me. Even if you pay attention to my statuses on Facebook, I have always tried to show that I have three daughters and that I am proud of them. I do my best to break stereotypes. We have to fight with absurd ideas like “so-and-so” has three sons, but it is “infinite” because it is. a son or a daughter does not happen. The girl also has her place. How wrong is the father who did not want a girl – did he not have a sister in his life? A girl. How can the world be a place?
Every era has its own beauty.
Our couple also shared with us the points they pay attention to in raising their daughter. Kanan says that upbringing and education begins from the mother’s womb, and the behavior and lifestyle of parents during pregnancy play a very important role in shaping the child:
“After the birth of a child, it is necessary to spend time with him properly. Playing with him is education and training. It is not necessary to just say instructive words to the child, normal communication is also training. A child is such a blessing, such a value that nothing can be done with him. They cannot be replaced. Every era has its own beauty. For example, when we see a photo of our five-year-old daughter, I think that there is always work and other activities that you will not be able to get him when he is five years old. I know that the beauties that we experienced with him at the age of five will not be available to us in turn.
Enamel: “Kanan is an extremely compassionate and child-loving person. I, on the other hand, am disciplined and more in control. My daughters and I have a special bond. But there are certain issues that we cannot let go of. For example, when there is a topic that is not suitable for their age, the topic is very. I try to answer questions without going into depth. When girls ask such questions, I try to explain why the topics are not suitable for them. We explain the topics without any restrictions. We give them a lot of attention.”
“A father should teach his son to fish”
Kenan Bey says that there is no such thing as a failed child, but a failed parent:
“We always talk about the importance of education, but that doesn’t mean that we suppress the child’s interest and direct it to another field that the parent doesn’t like. For example, there are parents who say, ‘I want my daughter to be a doctor, she must be a doctor. This is not the right approach.’ While suppressing the child’s desires, the parent should not enslave him by doing so. There is no such thing as a failed parent. Everyone has a pure mind. “You may not have the same level of intelligence, but there is definitely an area in which each person can succeed. A parent should be able to discover this. In short, a parent should teach his child to fish.”
