Allen Desmond is a 29-year-old trans man who ran away from home because of fights with his older brother. “Growing up, he entered the aggressive dynamics of transphobia and I had to leave,” he admits. His life has been a path strewn with pitfalls, marked by entries and exits from the family home and foster homes, violence and more than one night on the street to avoid returning home.
As a teenager, when he was told to come back at 8pm, he would come back at 11pm. This was partly because he didn’t want to meet his brother, who was the source of many of his problems. “When we were little, we were very close, but as we got older, He became a very violent person.” he said.
For example, during a fight, Desmond hid in the bathroom, but his brother tore the door off. Fortunately, the police arrived in time and were able to separate them. At that time, he was a legal minor and his brother had just turned 19. It was simply seen as a fight between brothers..
The situation at school was not good either. He changed schools a lot and had difficulty adapting. “The boys didn’t want to play, and neither did the girls because it wasn’t quite like them.”“, he remembers. All this caused him to fall behind significantly at school. Even though he had a teacher with whom he felt safe, but things got worse over time.
Her mother also didn’t know how to handle the situation. She never used bad words or made inappropriate comments. “But when I express what I am like at home, she your head is racing” he says. And he adds: “I had to leave at three in the morning because of constant insults that did not stop. He called me mentally ill and everything“Now,” said the young man, they were able to make peacebut regrets that it took several years.
Eddy’s house
It was during this period that Desmond began his transition within the gender unit of Castilla y León in Valladolid. He had contact with several organizations and met the Eddy Foundationwho had two shelters for the group in Madrid. He says he did everything home and secret admission process so his brother wouldn’t know. The first contact, remember, he had to do it.”by video call and speaking softly“.
In this house, Desmond finally felt safe. At that time, I weighed 98 kilos, I barely left the house and I did little exercise: “He lived locked up in Salamanca without leaving“At that time he thought he was strong because of everything he had been through, but the truth was, he realized later, it was time.”the most vulnerable of your life” when he thought of taking “the easy way out”.
Allen Desmond during the interview with ENCLAVE ODS
The Eddy Foundation is an NGO that belongs to the Technical Round Table for the care of LGTBIQ+ people at risk of residential exclusion in Madrid (MAPER) and offers housing and support to young people. weird. “We are trying cover completely attention to young people between 18 and 30 years old who were forced to live a homeless due to gender identity“explains Juan Daniel Ugalde, coordinator of the psychosocial area of the foundation.
Between the two houses that Eddy owns, there are 12 places, and they alone have received so far this year 120 applications, both Spanish and foreign. With this number of applications, the foundation must filter depending on age, mental health, independence and ability to live alone.
The house near Lavapies has a terrace that the tenants appreciate
“We have an office and we spend a lot here, but we don’t live hereThis is why the profile of a person who has independent living capacity“, says Ugalde. For himself, and for the colleagues who also live there.
In the house visited by ENCLAVE ODS there are 4 double bedrooms, in addition to the foundation’s office, two bathrooms and a large living room with sofa and television. There are a large dining table where young people perform dynamicsThey eat and play some board games that they have on the shelves which are also full of books. the kitchen, American style, is integrated into the living room.
In fact, Ugalde says that, as in any shared house, conflicts come from coexistence: especially cooking and cleaning. “Here, every week, it’s your turn to be the person responsible for the house and is in charge of maintaining the dynamics of the house, shopping and cleaning. There are eight of them in the house and they alternate,” says the coordinator.
Throughout the week, they have group activities to manage the houseto resolve issues that have arisen during the week and work on group cohesion. They also offer other workshops on cooking, sexuality, integration and learning how to write a CV. Sometimes the workshop is simply recreational and organises “activities that a young man or woman of 18 or 20 would do in their most normal life”. Because as Ugalde says: “An important part that needs to be taken care of is leisure.“.
Ugalde coordinates the logistics of the house and organizes group activities
All these workshops can be carried out thanks to the collaboration of volunteers and former users. Funding is provided mainly by its patrons, a gay couple who have done well in life. They also benefit from the support of collaborating entities such as the cosmetics brand Kiehl’s. Carmen González, director of communications for L’Oréal Luxe’s American brands, explains that the inclusion of everyone is something that is in the brand’s DNA.
And he talks about how they help the Eddy Foundation: “They do a great job and they need more resources to continue to provide not only a safe home for young people, but also personal development toolsfor job search and the provision of educational programs and mental health services.” With this funding, Eddy activity is free for users.
The conflict
MAPER released a report in June to highlight the reality facing many people in the lack of understanding from your loved ones.
This particularly affects young people who, like Desmond, feel unsafe at home but are under the legal age to leave the house. A MAPER study showed that there were a total of 727 requests accommodation in shelters for 75 seats.
One of the double rooms at the Fondation Eddy shelter
The first obstacle to solving this problem is lack of reliable data. Although the report refers to the latest INE data for 2022, which records almost 30,000 homeless people, sexual and gender diversity is not considered. Furthermore, these data only count people who use public services, but not those who live in insecure situations. This also includes women in situations of gender violence.
Desmond eventually left home after an argument with his brothereven though it came and went. In these situations, people they devote themselves to surf coachsleeping from sofa to sofa and from bed to bed, at friends’ houses or even at one-night stands because they feel safer. But MAPER remembers that this is still how they are vulnerable to theft, exploitation and violence. Sometimes even more.
after home
Desmond says he is very grateful to the foundation and his experience at home. Thanks to them and the other foundations completed the artistic baccalaureate for adults and I did hair, fashion, makeup, film and theater costumes and now works in a logistics company. Another additional problem for this group is finding work, and that is why, at home, they devote so much effort to employability.
The unemployment rate in this group is higher, which is why in the end many people, especially trans women, They are forced into prostitution or other types of activities against your will. Ugalde says he likes to think of Eddy’s house as “a space where you feel safe and you can talk about any topic without worrying about whether the other person will take it well or attack you.
After this respite, Allen Desmond has changed his life. Today, he lives alone, has two cats, works and, when he can, collaborates with the Eddy Foundation. There is a figure, that of older brotherthat accompanies users and helps them adapt. In addition, with it, you can talk and let off steam.
