Sex addiction is a fairly complex issue. Despite the problem it represents for those who suffer from it, it is not included in manuals of mental disorders nor is there a consensus on its diagnosis. “There is not even an agreement on the name to give”says Marta Ortega, doctor of psychology and sexologist. This compulsive behavior greatly affects the lives of those who suffer from it. In addition, it is aggravated by the taboo and stigma that surrounds it, explains Paula López de Juan Abad, psychologist and also sexologist member of the lasexología.com center.
Sex addicts show uncontrolled desire and, above all, a loss of total control over their behavior, explain the two professionals. For Ortega, using terms like “excessive” when it comes to the frequency or amount of sex or masturbation these people have is somewhat ambiguous. “How much is too much?”he asks. He says the important thing in diagnosing it is seeing why it’s doing it. If it’s something you really want or a behavior you can’t avoid even if you try and the motivation is to escape negative emotions or experiences.
The latter is something very common among these people, sexologists agree. First, sex is an element of personal satisfaction, but over time they use it to eliminate emotional discomfort. “They exhibit this type of behavior towards seek some relief that they don’t know how else to achieve it,” says Ortega.
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This problem, like any type of addiction, It has to do with the brain’s reward systemwhich is activated when you do pleasurable things (like having sex or eating chocolate). It also works as a kind of engine that pushes people to repeat these behaviors and they end up associating them with other stimuli or situations, explains the professional from lasexología.com.
He gives the example of someone who masturbates and starts doing it when they are stressed or have a problem. “Take away that uncomfortable feeling and ends up associating it [el comportamiento] to this context. » At this point, addiction is much more likely to occur, emphasizes the specialist.
Sexual addiction brings a lot of discomfort and anxiety to those who suffer from it, laments López de Juan Abad. has a lot repercussions in areas such as work, studies and relationships. This problem leads some people to commit numerous infidelities, which can end their relationship, explains the doctor of psychology. This can even pose an economic problem if the person concerned ends up engaging in prostitution.
Very often, even if they themselves know the negative impact of this behavior, “They are incapable of putting an end to it”says the professional from lasexología.com. They end up spending a lot of time planning and carrying out these types of activities and can lose track of the hours that pass, he adds.
Mario (fictitious name to preserve his identity) knows what it is. He is a recovering sex addict and has suffered from this problem for thirty years. He acknowledges that this behavioral problem made him feel shame, guilt and fear. “It was behavior I couldn’t stop,” he complains.
López de Juan Abad explains that it can happen at any age. However, this compulsive behavior usually begins in adolescence and youth and tends to continue into adulthood. He also adds that Mario does not know exactly when his problem started, he places it around 12 years old: “Probably when I started consuming porn”. Used incorrectly, it can perfectly be the trigger of this addiction, adds Ortega.
The professional specifies that this type of content shows an image of sex that is not real. This can lead some people to feel “some anxiety or anxiety about sex” because they consider it must meet a series of standards. Therefore, it is possible that this will lead to compulsive behaviors to test whether or not it meets these expectations and how to improve them, he continues.
Control of other impulses
The psychology doctor also says that sex addicts may have difficulty controlling their impulses on other levels as well. “They may overeat or use other substances [alcohol o drogas]”, he specifies. López de Juan Abad adds that It is common for it to overlap with other types of dependencies and even in the case of mental disorders, what is called a double pathology. In fact, they may use substances like alcohol or drugs to disinhibit themselves if they are ashamed of having sex.
Experts also talk about the relationship between this compulsive behavior and chemsex (use of drugs for sexual purposes). Ortega acknowledges the “clear correlation” between the two, but is unclear in what order one practice influences the other. “I don’t know which comes first, the chicken or the egg”. Sometimes some addicts seek out more frequent, longer, and more intense practices because they develop a tolerance and have a harder time achieving satisfaction. For this, he explains, they consume medications that help them.
In this compulsive behavior there is no specific patient profile, although specialists recognize that It mainly affects men. López de Juan Abad recognizes that a sociocultural component influences the education received and gender roles.
Common confusions
The specialist explains what is important Do not confuse sexual addiction with the concept of sexual desire. In other words, just because someone is high doesn’t mean it’s a problem for their life. This can be normal, as long as it is “fully conscious, deliberate and without conditions that prevent it from being controlled.”
Another thing that could be confused with is hypersexuality. This is a noticeable increase in sexual desire at a specific time, which may cause discomfortvery persistent thoughts related to sex or arousal, explains the sexologist.
López de Juan Abad clarifies that people in this complicated situation tend to be addicted to certain components, but not to all sexual intercourse. can someone I have a problem with masturbation and doing it compulsively, but being able to have sex with another person normally, and vice versa.
How to treat it
Regarding the treatment, Ortega explains that it depends on the professional who applies it and that must be “fully personalized”. Normally, we usually work with acceptance and commitment therapy. The goal is for the patient to be aware of why he uses sex and learn to live with his urges without them conditioning his life. For her, the ideal is that instead of establishing a precise frequency for these activities, it is the person who chooses and knows why.
Mario receives professional help from a psychologist to treat his addiction, among other issues, and is also part of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (ASA). This program works similar to others like Alcoholics Anonymous and helps you control this compulsive behavior. At ASA, they use a 12-step program and the first, he says, is to recognize the problem. “You can’t do it alone, but if you work at it, you can get through it.”
