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What kind of victim are you?

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Good morning,

How are you doing? Surely in shock at the breathtaking effects of DANA that we are seeing. If you, your family or people important to you are in this area, I give you a big hug.

We had not yet come out of another shock, although very different. The Errejón case fell like a bomb in Spanish politics, on the left and in our lives. And I make this list because what it entails has effects on many different areas and levels. Of course, what is happening within political parties in general, and what has happened in recent years in the formations that Íñigo Errejón has passed through, let us agree – not only in the parties, but everywhere – sufficiently attention and put enough resources in place. to detect sexual harassment and violence? Should we act only in the face of serious events? Do we need to think about what we are doing to eradicate sexist and misogynistic behavior in general?

These days there are many unknowns and many doubts. Like I said in this articlefeminists ask themselves a lot of questions and there are uncomfortable subjects, full of nuances or contours, which deserve reflection. Only a few days have passed and these reflections will take us some time.

“Abusers 2.0 are very dangerous because they are very clever: they are able to see that they can be caught and then they do disturbing things. For example, not providing emotional support but one day they will do it to get a alibi Therefore, to identify it you need to see if it is sustained over time and look for indicators that this person wants balance in terms of care, importance, attention and power.

Olga Barroso
Psychologist

At this point, one thing is clear: social reckoning against women who point fingers and speak out is quickly underway. What does it take to be a victim? Apparently, you not only have to be one, but also appear to conform to a very specific stereotype of what it means to be a victim. To the only woman who has so far officially declared herself to the police, the actress Elisa Moulilaáshe was criticized for getting into a taxi with him instead of leaving, for later making a comment on a social network in Errejón or for partying while her daughter had a fever. The goal is to put the focus on us.

That this is happening not only shows how “good victim” stereotypes continue to operate, but also reveals the enormous lack of knowledge that still exists in society about how gender-based violence works. Compared to the typical story that attributes victims to immediately fleeing or reacting, or committing violence toward men who bother or attack them, experts have been studying and chronicling the complexity of the phenomenon for years. Trauma, emotional manipulation, subtle abuse… In this room My colleague Marta Borraz sheds light on all this.

But I also want to remember, this interview I did with psychologist Olga Barrosoone of the professionals who most clearly explains how violence works, its effects on women, what goes through the minds of the aggressors…

“When the abusers make sure that she wants to be with him and that they have constructed in her head a representation of him as someone who loves them, they begin to display less positive behaviors. Meanwhile, the abusers work to make the woman feel inferior or worse. The cycle of violence has already begun to turn and the abuser is beginning to feel uncomfortable for having failed to control or exploit. He must engage in violent behavior that causes him to release that tension of not getting what he wants and try to place the woman on that level. There is an aggression there, which can be subtle and which makes her question herself. Then the cycle of violence ends again with a honeymoon, everything is fine. “Once the abuser achieves this goal, the violence may escalate because it will be difficult for them to see clearly what is happening. » explain.

And besides, just before the Errejón affair broke out, we published this research which affects a well-known environmental activist. In addition to the woman’s complaint, which is already under investigation in the Arganda del Rey court, in Madrid, we have two other testimonies and we have verified peripheral information. Journalistic publications usually take time and require research, verification, compilations… It is one of the reporting channels that exist, just like profiles on networks or blogs, such as that of Cristina Fallarás, where the Errejón case. Each channel has its function, its channel, its requirements and it is good to know that different things should be expected from each and that each woman has the right to decide what matters, when, how and where.

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Today, I feel incapable of writing about anything other than that. And remember that we have emails where you can send us clues, stories, tell us something you think is relevant… For example, clues@eldiario.es. I am also at genero@eldiario.es

A big hug.

Anne

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